I'm losing it folks.

I have just come to the conclusion that there must be some huge technological breakthrough that the Graham government knows about, but that no one else does. They are doing us all a great favour by selling the whole of NB Power (well most of it) to avoid all the liabilities in the near future. Has cold fusion been perfected at a local university? Has a major breakthrough in solar technolgy come to Grahams knowledge? Something that will allow all houses to go off the grid and not even have a power bill. Matybe a little device in the basement about the size of a freezer that can produce huge amounts of power? More than enough power for your house just from regular tap water. Maybe a new industry is about to be announced converting gasoline and deisel cars to electric cars. They can all be powered from the little box in the basement. NB Power employees are going to be trained to contruct these little devices, patented of course, NB Power Genco Surplus Assets will retain the rights. Other employees will be trained in the conversion process. Installing electric motors and smaller power boxes in the trunk. The customer call centres will be still taking calls, setting up appointments with the nearest generating station to go in and have your vehicle converted. The bigger the better. Big full size trucks especially welcome. Much easier to fit the little bozes. Exports of electricity will be replaced by exports of little boxes the size of freezers. The proprietory and patented technolgy will not be licensed to anyone. Anyone seeking to purchase one will have to come into the province and stay in our hotels, and eat in our restaurants, shop in our stores. They will have to call ahead to schedule their appointment with the customer call centre. All NB Power jobs in the province will be guaranteed until infinity, or death, whichever comes first. But you say HQ will take all the profits. TRUE, but we could have the EUB minimize those profits. And NB will have a lot of jobs. Revenue for the province would come from a new tax on the export of the little box. The tax could be quite large. As soon as the little box is turned on, it will run to infinity on just water. Rainwater included. No maintainence, no future taxes collected. There are only a few billion cars and houses in the world. To convert them all with the limited population in the province, would require that people move here in droves. The profit on each little box would only need to be a few dollars. Maybe even take a loss. After all, the customer call centres will have millions of customer lined up. It will take a long time to process them all. Unemployment in the province will be wiped out. The government coffers will be overflowing from just personal income taxes collected. Workers will be paid based on years of service, experience, and more importantly hours of work. There will be so much work, incentives will be given to go home early to allow other workers with less seniority to come in a get a shift here or there. Vacation entitlements will start at 8 weeks per year. Employees will receive one extra week per year of service until they retire. But what will stop people from opening the little box and learning it's secret. Well folks, that's the little Secret that only Graham and his cabinet know. Apparently it's crackproof. As soon as the little box opens, it shuts down, and cannot be re-activated until it passes through a Surplus NB Power asset. The announcement will be made December 15. Production starts April 1, 2010. Call ahead and book your appointment now folks. The line up starts behind me.

You know if you read this enough times, it's almost beleivable compared to some other stuff I've read lately.


On a side note, I made some changes to the questions thast appears at the bottom of each post. I Think it was confusing. There is limited space and and I didn't realize there was text I could edit.